Republicans Not Having A Ball

From Politico: With Barack Obama's approval ratings in the 70s and his visage plastered on every shop window and Metro card in Washington, it's hard to remember that 58 million Americans voted for the other guy. If you have trouble remembering that, just turn on Fox News for about 2 minutes.



Even President Bush — who presumably counts himself among that group — said last week that Obama's inauguration is "a moment of hope and pride."



That's not exactly how Michelle Malkin describes it."Jan. 20 has turned into a schlock inauguration, (where) every last moocher has come to cash in on Obama," says the conservative blogger and pundit. "There are some of us who want to bang our heads against the wall." There are some of us who would like to help you do that.



While most Republicans now in office are saying all the right things about Tuesday's proceedings — roll tape on "peaceful transfer of power" and "historic moment for the country" sound bites — some conservatives can't quite get themselves in the "We Are One" mood.



Not even for a day. I can understand that feeling. I've had it for eight very long years.



On his radio show last week, Rush Limbaugh railed against "people on our side of the aisle who have caved and who say, 'Well, I hope he succeeds. We have to give him a chance.'"

"Why?" Limbaugh demanded. "They didn't give Bush a chance in 2000. Before he was inaugurated, the search-and-destroy mission had begun. I'm not talking about search-and-destroy, but I've been listening to Barack Obama for a year and a half. I know what his politics are. I know what his plans are, as he has stated them. I don't want them to succeed." Well, if you makes ya feel any better, it may very well take more than eight years to shovel out of the steaming pile Bush is leaving the country in, big boy.



In the wake of the disputed 2000 election, only 47 percent of the public predicted that Bush would be an "above average" or "outstanding" president. In a new Associated Press-GfK poll, 65 percent of the public attaches those words to Obama. On the other hand, the public actually elected Obama.



Asked about Obama's inauguration last week, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay hammered on the cost.



If Obama were "serious" about changing Washington, DeLay said, "He would announce to the world: 'We are in crisis, we are at war, people are losing jobs; we are not going to have this party. Instead, I'm going to get sworn in at the White House. I'm going to have a nice little chicken dinner, and we'll save the $125 million.'" Wow, I agree with Tom Delay? I knew that cheese I just ate smelled funny. Seriously, it is an obscene waste of badly needed public funds, but inaugurations always are.



DeLay said he understands why Republicans in Congress aren't complaining about this publicly: "Those in elected office are looking at Obama's popularity numbers and don't want to be perceived as anti-American by being anti-Obama." Sucks when your own tactics work so well that they turn on ya, doesn't it, Kenny?






He didn't name names, but the normally outspoken Rep. Michele Bachmann might fit the bill. Just before the election, the Minnesota Republican told Chris Matthews that she thought Obama might have "anti-American views." Last week, she told The Hill: "I look forward to working with him and I would expect to be as friendly as I would be to [any president]." A double-talking politician? Stop the presses!

Or, as Bob Anderson put it: "Pffffffffffffffffft."Anderson, a retired chief master sergeant in the U.S. Air Force Reserves, is the founder of the conservative grass-roots organization "What are we fighting for?"Asked to elaborate on his onomatopoeia, Anderson said that "Obama-mania" is leading the country into bad times."The only positive thing I can see is hopefully it will be bad enough quick enough that the people will stop drinking the Kool-Aid and see what we're about to lose," he said. "I think we have a very short launch window." This is how they begin shifting the blame for the failure of Republican economic policy to Obama and the Dems. Mark my words.

RedState's Erick Erickson is blasting off.... "The first time Obama uses the bathroom, Newsweek will do a five-page spread." And it will be more entertaining and informative than anything you've ever had to say.

Tom Hoefling, the political director for Alan Keyes' group America's Revival, has had it with all the talk about the "historic" nature of Obama's inauguration.

"What's historic about it?" he asked. "So it's historical because of his skin tone? Isn't that a racist idea in the first place? ... I could care less what color his skin tone is. What matters is his philosophy -- his political philosophy and his ideology." I love how much it bugs guys like this whenever a minority group celebrates a step towards real equality.


Anderson suggested that squeamishness about race is silencing the dissent."We're so focused with political correctness people are uncomfortable in saying your baby is ugly and stuff is broken," he said. "While we're sitting around the campfire and trying to sing Kumbaya, our country is slipping away from us." It's our country now! No givsies -backsies!

Anderson won't be watching the inauguration. DeLay will be out in California to rally conservatives. And Richard Viguerie, the king of right-wing direct mail, said Tuesday will be "just another day at the office.""Yeah, sure, we can be happy that we've taken another step in the racial progress, but I just am not about race, quite frankly," Viguerie said.
No, Rich, you're not. You're about conservative spin via direct mail.

He doesn't necessarily begrudge those who will celebrate this week, so long as they keep it short. "You can take a sip of Kool-Aid. It's OK to smell it, stick your finger in it. But on Jan. 21, let's get back to business." Gosh, thanks, but keep your fingers out of our kool-aid, we don't dip into yours.

Defending Adolf

Little Adolf Hitler has left the bunker!



From Anderson Cooper's 360 blog: A three-year-old boy in New Jersey named Adolf Hitler has been taken away from his parents.So have his younger siblings JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. How could anyone break up such an obviously loving family?


But in an interview with a local newspaper, the father of the children says he’s not a racist. “A name doesn’t make a person,” said Heath Campbell. “My son is going to learn to love. None of my kids are going to have a bone of hate in their body,” he added. Heath is a dull name. Why don't you change it to FAIL!



When we contacted the New Jersey Department of Children and Services it would not comment on the case. However, it told us that children are only removed from their homes if they are in imminent danger and only after an allegation of abuse or neglect is made. It stressed a children (sic) is never removed because of its name. Although they may be rethinking that policy now.

Sgt. John Harris of the Holland Township Police Department told FOXNews.com, "I’ve dealt with the family for years and as far as the children are concerned, I have never had any reports of any abuse with the children," Harris said. "As far as I know, he’s always been very good with the children." Well, I've never dealt with them, and I can think of several instances where he has been less than good with them.

The Fox story also quotes Forensic psychologist N.G. Berrill on whether naming a boy Hitler could be considered child abuse.
"Part of it is the infantile nature of the parents’ behavior," Berrill said. "You can name your dog something weird, but they think they’re making some kind of bold statement with the children, not appreciating that the children will have separate lives and will be looked at in a negative light until they’re able to change their name. It is abuse." We're racist morons is a pretty bold statement, now that you mention it.

They also note that "last year, a New Zealand court removed a 9-year-old girl from her parents in order to change her birth name: Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. In that country, officials do not deem a name abusive unless it causes serious bullying." No fair! Bullies need victims!





BBC News ran a piece on that particular example of parental incompetence in July of last year. Judge Rob Murfitt, in his decision, wrote, "The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name....It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily." Just a note, the comments on the BBC piece are pretty funny.

Looking Back

Imported from my old MySpace blog:

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I'm often asked what it is that makes me so much cooler than the rest of you. I've finally bothered to give it a little thought, and I've compiled a short list of the things that comprise my coolness. Feel free to emulate them, although it probably won't do any good, as you lack the cool gene.
I smoke cigarettes. All the cool kids are doing it.
I light my cigarettes with a Zippo. And I don't ever claim that I "love the way it tastes".
I am witty and aloof. Meaning that after I insult you, I really just want you to go away.
I like cats. Dogs are fine, but they smell bad and they jump on people.
I'm lazy.
I'm selfish. I always treat myself better than I treat anyone else. And I feel no guilt whatsoever for doing so.
I'm smart. Most people are idiots. You are probably an idiot, too, but you're too dumb to know it. I'm willing to tell you, feel free to ask.
I'm bitchy. Because ya'll piss me off alot, with your stupidness.
I watch TV alot. Cause those people are more interesting than you real folks.
I know that baseball is superior in every way to football.I also know that NASCAR is not a sport. Neither is golf, running, horse racing, or wrestling.
I hate kids. I don't like anyone greedier or more self-involved than me. And they have dirty little hands they put all over everything. Btw, your kids? Not cute. Irritating. Make them go away, and don't make any more. Your genes do not merit reproducing.
I'm mean. See above.I will hit anyone who makes me mad enough.
I wear leather, and I eat meat, because I am proud to be at the top of the food chain.
I don't drink or do drugs, because those things are part of why other people are so stupid. I encourage others to indulge, however, because it only makes me even more superior.
I'm already tired of telling you how to be a better person, so I'm going to go watch TV.

I copied and pasted this over without editing, because somehow that seemed like cheating. I think I hadn't quite found my writing "voice" yet (and I'm not sure I really have now). Still, most of it I still agree with.

Weird Blogs List

Atlanta Furs - OK, I had no idea these freaks had such a large population in my hometown. (Shudder)

Brian's Home Blog - Just your standard, what-I-did-today blog. Written by a kitten. Hasn't been updated recently, just sits there, being weird.

I Y Your T-Shirt - Not really a blog, more like an ad. I think. Just uh....weird.

My Gastric Bypass - One Woman's Story - Oooookaaaaay.

The Garbage Man - Adventures of a Sanitation Engineer!

The Tooth Booth Dental Blog - All teeth, all the time.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A BAMA GIRL - Just in case the caps lock doesn't say it all, I linked directly to my favorite post, a list of her favorite things including: orange juice (which she will apparently drink until she is sick), sweatshirts (they are the Bomb!), pirates (and cowboys?), and of course, "FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!! (AHHH MY HEART JUST SWEALLLLLSSES UP)". Sorry guys, she's married!

Open Call - If you find any really weird and/or stupid blogs, please email a link to rituallypissed@gmail.com

Don't let the door hit ya....

Last night, George Bush reflected a bit on the Age of Duh:

Fellow citizens: For eight years, it has been my honor to serve as your president. The first decade of this new century has been a period of consequence – a time set apart. Well, yes it has, Georgie. I like to call it The Age Of Duh. But, uh, you do know that 8 years is not a decade, right?

Tonight, with a thankful heart, I have asked for a final opportunity to share some thoughts on the journey that we have traveled together and the future of our Nation.

Five days from now, the world will witness the vitality of American democracy. In a tradition dating back to our founding, the presidency will pass to a successor chosen by you, the American people. Not the Supreme Court? Standing on the steps of the Capitol will be a man whose story reflects the enduring promise of our land. This is a moment of hope and pride for our whole Nation. And I join all Americans in offering best wishes to President-elect Obama, his wife Michelle, and their two beautiful girls. Good luck, sorry about the mess!

Tonight I am filled with gratitude – to Vice President Cheney The Puppetmaster! and members of the Administration; to Laura, who brought joy to this house and love to my life; to our wonderful daughters, Barbara and Jenna; to my parents, whose examples have provided strength for a lifetime. And above all, I thank the American people for the trust you have given me. Trust?

I thank you for....the prayers that have lifted my spirits. And I thank you for the countless acts of courage, generosity, and grace that I have witnessed these past eight years.

This evening, my thoughts return to the first night I addressed you from this house – September 11, 2001. You had a real chance there, George. You could have been a hero, the man who pulled this country together, and helped heal this country. Instead, you USED this horrible tragedy to further your own political agenda. How do you sleep at night? That morning, terrorists took nearly 3,000 lives in the worst attack on America since Pearl Harbor. I remember standing in the rubble of the World Trade Center three days later, surrounded by rescuers who had been working around the clock.

I remember talking to brave souls who charged through smoke-filled corridors at the Pentagon and to husbands and wives whose loved ones became heroes aboard Flight 93. I remember Arlene Howard, who gave me her fallen son’s police shield as a reminder of all that was lost. And I still carry his badge. You aren't even fit to touch it.

As the years passed, most Americans were able to return to life much as it had been before Nine-Eleven. But I never did. Every morning, I received a briefing on the threats to our Nation. And I vowed to do everything in my power to keep us safe. Like alienating our allies and starting a war? Or by carving out vast chunks of our civil liberties in the name of fear?

Over the past seven years, a new Department of Homeland Security has been created. The military, the intelligence community, and the FBI have been transformed. Our Nation is equipped with new tools to monitor the terrorists’ movements, freeze their finances, and break up their plots. And if those tools can be used against innocent citizens as well, that's just gravy. And with strong allies at our side, we have taken the fight to the terrorists and those who support them. Um, yeah, about that...your friends said to tell you they were real sorry, but they had to go home.

Afghanistan has gone from a nation where the Taliban harbored al Qaeda and stoned women in the streets to a young democracy that is fighting terror and encouraging girls to go to school. "We have no strategic plan. We never had one," a senior U.S. military commander said of the (war in Afghanistan during the) Bush years. - The Washington Post

Iraq has gone from a brutal dictatorship and a sworn enemy of America to an Arab democracy at the heart of the Middle East and a friend of the United States.






There is legitimate debate about many of these decisions. But there can be little debate about the results. So we agree that everything you've done has been a disaster then.

America has gone more than seven years without another terrorist attack on our soil. You can't seriously be taking credit for this.

This is a tribute to those who toil night and day and night to keep us safe – law enforcement officers, intelligence analysts, homeland security and diplomatic personnel, and the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. Yeah, those folks probably don't spend months out of every year on vacation.

Our Nation is blessed to have citizens who volunteer to defend us in this time of danger. I have cherished meeting these selfless patriots and their families. America owes you a debt of gratitude. And to all our men and women in uniform listening tonight: There has been no higher honor than serving as your Commander in Chief. I like playing Army man.

The battles waged by our troops are part of a broader struggle between two dramatically different systems. Under one, a small band of fanatics demands total obedience to an oppressive ideology, condemns women to subservience, and marks unbelievers for murder. The other system is based on the conviction that freedom is the universal gift of Almighty God and that liberty and justice light the path to peace. To clarify, we're the second one?

This is the belief that gave birth to our Nation. And in the long run, advancing this belief is the only practical way to protect our citizens. When people live in freedom, they do not willingly choose leaders who pursue campaigns of terror. They just have to suffer with them after Florida drops the ball...

When people have hope in the future, they will not cede their lives to violence and extremism. Cue the Patriot Act.

So around the world, America is promoting human liberty, human rights, and human dignity. Everywhere but here?

We are standing with dissidents and young democracies, providing AIDS medicine to bring dying patients back to life, and sparing mothers and babies from malaria. But no health care for the poor in our own country.

And this great republic born alone in liberty is leading the world toward a new age when freedom belongs to all nations. Freedom to be Christian Democracies, that is.

For eight years, we have also strived to expand opportunity and hope here at home.

Across our country, students are rising to meet higher standards in public schools. By spending more class time studying for more standardized tests, and less actually learning. A new Medicare prescription drug benefit is bringing peace of mind to seniors and the disabled. Nothing brings peace of mind like more confusing forms! Every taxpayer pays lower income taxes. Especially our struggling billionaire class.

The addicted and suffering are finding new hope through faith-based programs. Vulnerable human life is better protected. Funding for our veterans has nearly doubled. Does this mean they fixed the toilets at Walter Reed? America’s air, water, and lands are measurably cleaner. At least, that's what the industrial lobbyists tell me, and they wouldn't lie. And the Federal bench includes wise new members like Justice Sam Alito and Chief Justice John Roberts. Because one opinion is better than 9 opinions.

When challenges to our prosperity emerged, we rose to meet them. Say it with me - D_E_R_E_G_U_L_A_T_I_O_N! The fox can guard the hen house! Facing the prospect of a financial collapse, we took decisive measures to safeguard our economy. We gave more money to to the Wall Street guys who got us into this mess! These are very tough times for hardworking families, but the toll would be far worse if we had not acted. All Americans are in this together. Like we were all in it together after Hurricane Katrina? And together, with determination and hard work, we will restore our economy to the path of growth. We will show the world once again the resilience of America’s free enterprise system. Maybe what we need is a new path. How's the idea "Pay as you go" grab ya?

Like all who have held this office before me, I have experienced setbacks. There are things I would do differently if given the chance. Mastering basic English, being nice to foreigners, remembering reporter's names....Yet I have always acted with the best interests of our country in mind. As they were made clear to me during my weekly briefing/puppet shows with Dick Cheney. I have followed my conscience and done what I thought was right. You may not agree with some tough decisions I have made. But I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions. And you never let facts or scruples stand in your way.

The decades ahead will bring more hard choices for our country, and there are some guiding principles that should shape our course. Oh, please, do share your sage advice with us.

While our Nation is safer than it was seven years ago, the gravest threat to our people remains another terrorist attack. Maybe so, now that you're leaving...that does bump them up the list by one. Our enemies are patient and determined to strike again. America did nothing to seek or deserve this conflict. But we have been given solemn responsibilities, and we must meet them. We must resist complacency. For once, I agree. We got complacent during the abundance of the Clinton administration and let you and your cronies slither into power. Can't make that mistake again. We must keep our resolve. Agreed! And we must never let down our guard. Thanks for the reminder!

At the same time, we must continue to engage the world with confidence and clear purpose. Did you mean Contempt and Philistinism? In the face of threats from abroad, it can be tempting to seek comfort by turning inward. But we must reject isolationism and its companion, protectionism. Tell that to the immigrants being jailed and deported. Retreating behind our borders would only invite danger. In the 21st century, security and prosperity at home depend on the expansion of liberty abroad. I hear empire-building. If America does not lead the cause of freedom, that cause will not be led. Hear that, "strong allies"?

As we address these challenges – and others we cannot foresee tonight – America must maintain our moral clarity. No homos! I have often spoken to you about good and evil. I love that movie! John Cusack is a genius! This has made some uncomfortable. Right, I forgot there were homos in that movie. But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two there can be no compromise. Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere.

Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. Oppressed and despairing, that perfectly describes my feelings after the 2004 election. This Nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense and to advance the cause of peace. Are we fighting for peace again?

President Thomas Jefferson once wrote, “I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” He also said, "A Democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." As I leave the house he occupied two centuries ago, I share that optimism. America is a young country, full of vitality, constantly growing and renewing itself. And even in the toughest times, we lift our eyes to the broad horizon ahead.

More Jeffersonian goodness - "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. "

I have confidence in the promise of America because I know the character of our people. This is a Nation that inspires immigrants to risk everything for the dream of freedom. This is a Nation where citizens show calm in times of danger and compassion in the face of suffering. We see examples of America’s character all around us. And Laura and I have invited some of them to join us in the White House this evening.

Here occurs the funniest bit of the whole piece. He has about 5 black people in the room, and he has them all in one row. I'm serious. Look close, in front of him.

(omitted text. here, he talks about his new black friends)

In citizens like these, we see the best of our country – resilient and hopeful, caring and strong. These virtues give me an unshakable faith in America. We have faced danger and trial, and there is more ahead. But with the courage of our people and confidence in our ideals, this great Nation will never tire … never falter … and never fail.

It has been the privilege of a lifetime to serve as your President. There have been good days and tough days. But every day I have been inspired by the greatness of our country and uplifted by the goodness of our people. I have been blessed to represent this Nation we love. And I will always be honored to carry a title that means more to me than any other: citizen of the United States of America.

And so, my fellow Americans, for the final time: Good night. May God bless this house and our next President. And may God bless you and our wonderful country. Thank you."

Those are very stirring words....so are these: "That public virtue which among the ancients was denominated patriotism, is derived from a strong sense of our own interest in the preservation and prosperity of the free government of which we are members. Such a sentiment, which had rendered the legions of the republic almost invincible, could make but a very feeble impression on the mercenary servants of a despotic prince; and it became necessary to supply that defect by other motives, of a different, but not less forcible nature; honour and religion." - Edward Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

Asking Obama

I'm getting a bad feeling about this guy. Not a horrified, profoundly disappointed in the whole country feeling, like after the last election, but a sneaking suspicion that all is not as it seems.

I'm over the primaries, I really am. My horse didn't win that race, that's ok. I threw my support behind our man like a good Democrat. I liked his message, and I admired his style. And I still whole-heartedly believe he was a better candidate than old man McCain.

But we crazy liberals do not always agree with our leaders. Not for us the lock-step, sheep-think, apologist, blind faith in demagogues I've watched the opposition substitute for individual thought. We do the unthinkable - we ask questions.

Questions for President (elect) Obama:

Why are you threatening Congress? Are you planning on bowing up every time they act like, oh, I don't know....elected representatives? Instead of....um...sycophants?


Why did you choose a homophobe to do your invocation?

Didn't you see all those after-school specials about running with the wrong crowd? Rev. Wright doesn't seem to be real strong on "Christian" ideals like brotherhood, understanding, or forgiveness. This is your pastor? Just....embarrassing, dude.
Tony Rezko...is not the guy you want helping you out on real estate deals.
I'm not gonna throw Ayers or Farrakhan at you, because I don't believe those guys are really pals of yours.

Are you gonna get all churchy on us?

What's with the dicey cabinet picks? Leon Penetta as Director of the CIA? The guy has a pretty impressive resume....except for a total lack of spy experience. Feinstein ain't buying that, and she's the head of the Senate Intelligence Committee.
Tom Vilsack as Secretary of Agriculture? Anti-sustainable ag, pretty much in bed with agribusiness. (Yeah, I know, Team of Rivals....)
Ken Salazar as Interior Secretary? OK, he may be qualified, but he's wearing a frickin' cowboy hat. All the time.
Attorney General - Eric Holder? Does he have the stones to call the former administration's crimes to light?
Timothy Geithner as Treasury Secretary. Really? This seems like an awfully important position right now for a guy who screwed up his own tax return.
Commerce Secretary Bill Richardson.....nevermind.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton?! All is forgiven.

Quit Askin' Already!

What's this? A straight answer on gay rights?

From CNN: In an overlooked YouTube video posted on Friday, a spokesman for Barack Obama said the president-elect is committed to ending the policy that bars openly gay men and women from serving in the U.S. armed forces.

In a response to a question on the Web site Change.gov asking whether Obama would get rid of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs said: "You don't hear politicians give a one-word answer much. But it's 'Yes.'"

Gibbs on Wednesday expanded on his answer, saying, "There are many challenges facing our nation now and the president-elect is focused first and foremost on jump-starting this economy.

"So not everything will get done in the beginning but he's committed to following through" with ending the policy against being openly gay in the military. We've heard that before.

The policy bans military recruiters or authorities from asking someone about his or her sexual preference, but also prohibits a service member from revealing if he or she is gay. Shhhhhhhhhhh! It's a seeeeeecret!

During the presidential campaign, Obama said he would work to end the policy, but because it is dictated by federal law, he can not ended (sic) it unilaterally. Haven't you learned anything from George Bush? Of course you can!

Congress must pass legislation overturning the policy, which was put into place at the beginning of the Clinton administration. Former President Bill Clinton tried to overturn the "don't ask, don't tell" policy when he took office in 1993, but he was strenuously opposed by the military leadership. So he had to cave! And it's not like he promised or anything.....wait...

In the last Congress, a bill was introduced in the House by Rep. Martin Meehan, D-Massachusetts, that would have implemented "a policy of nondiscrimination on the basis of sexual orientation." What a radical concept!

The bill had 149 co-sponsors, but it never came up for a full vote in the House. It has yet to be re-introduced in the new Congress, which began last week. Congress, this is Bill. Bill, Congress.

"The key here is to get bills that pass the House and the Senate, that we can get to President-elect Obama to sign, and I think that we can do that, certainly, the first year of the administration," one of the co-sponsors, Democratic Rep. Ellen Tauscher of California, told CNN in November.

Public opinion appears to be shifting on the matter. A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll conducted December 19-21 found that 81 percent of respondents believe openly gay people should be allowed to serve in the U.S. military, while 17 percent said they shouldn't. The poll's margin of error was plus-or-minus 3 percentage points. You like us, you really like us!

The chairman of the joint chiefs of staff at the time, retired Gen. Colin Powell, also believes it is time to reevaluate the policy -- although he has not said he favors its reversal.

"It's been 15 years and attitudes have changed," Powell told CNN in December. "And, so, I think it is time for the Congress, since it is their law, to have a full review of it. And I'm quite sure that's what President-elect Obama will want to do."