Stupor Heroes

I love superhero comics. I'm especially fond of Ms. Marvel, and look forward to her book every month. She's not the only hero I follow, but she's my favorite. Ms. Marvel is flawed, but she's also the archetypal hero, military service, superpowers, including the ability to fly, fights for the greater good, blah, blah, blah...She's also fictional.

As much as I enjoy her adventures, I do not believe that *I* am Ms. Marvel, or that she is any way real. See, in the real world, people never receive alien blood transfusions that give them super strength and the ability to shoot energy beams from their hands. Ever.

Which is what makes the World Superhero Registry so hysterically funny. Or pathetic. Or both. Because these are real people. Dressed in latex and spandex. With capes. Trying to fight crime. Sans superpowers, sense, and sanity. Check out their gallery.

Just...no. I mean, seriously? You morons are going to get killed. Your only hope is that any criminals you happen upon are too busy laughing to actually assault you. Because guns and knives trump roleplaying all day long. So...just...go get jobs, will ya? McDonald's is usually hiring, and comes with a costume and everything. No cape though, it might fall in to the fryer.

Making the case for court-ordered vasectomies

From the AP:
EASTON, Pa. – The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance.

Because clearly, tolerance is this family's watchword.

Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.
"I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," Heath Campbell said Tuesday in an interview conducted in Easton, on the other side of the Delaware River from where the family lives in Hunterdon County, N.J.
"There's a new president and he says it's time for a change; well, then it's time for a change," the 35-year-old continued. "They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."

As much as we may want him to....

Deborah Campbell, 25, said she phoned in her order last week to the ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.
Karen Meleta, a spokeswoman for ShopRite, said the Campbells had similar requests denied at the same store the last two years and said Heath Campbell previously had asked for a swastika to be included in the decoration.

Because the swastika is obviously the universal symbol for Happy Birthday, toddler!

"We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate," Meleta said. "We considered this inappropriate."

I'm pretty sure allowing these people to breed is inappropriate.

The Campbells' other two children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April.
Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." He sounded surprised by all the controversy the dispute had generated.

Here's another unique name idea for ya, Heath, how about Daddysan Idiot Campbell?

Campbell said his ancestors are German and that he has lived his entire life in Hunterdon County. On Tuesday he wore a pair of black boots he said were worn by a German soldier during World War II.
He said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently.

Off to a great start there, genius.

"Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care," he said. "That's his choice."

Here's hoping his choice is to change his name and disown the mental midgets who begat him.