Monday, March 29, 2010

Thrills in job seeking

Wow. Looking for a job is super fun. I haven't found anything yet, but I have been rejected by some really swell folks. It's kind of like dating, only I don't get dinner or a movie before the "It's not you, it's me" speech. I'm not worried, though. I've come up with some really good career ideas. Here are a few of the jobs I feel most qualified for.

Lead singer for a speed metal band.

Quality assurance consultant for medical marijuana growers.

Sweat pants model.

Telephone psychic.

Sleep study participant.

Cat sitter.

Hot dog vendor.

International spy.

Republican speech writer.

Television critic.

Beer taster.

Reality tv star.

Rumor monger.


Slap bet commissioner.

Driving instructor.

Motivational speaker.

Beach tanning coordinator.

Gold prospector.


Anything Ryan Seacrest could do, but won't. Like, date women.

Indoor adventurist.

Brothel madame.

Bigfoot hunter.

If you know of any available positions in any of these fields, please let me know!