Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Rage & Reindeer

I don't exactly hate the holidays, I like the extra days off, and the plentiful baked treats. I don't have any religious beliefs, but the story about baby Jesus is about as inoffensive a myth as the Santa one, so I got no hate on there.

Predictably, there are also things I don't like about the holidays. Here's a few:

The endless, jingle bell infested, magical snowman and/or reindeer referencing, child-oriented, nerve-grating music. It's playing everywhere I go, and I'm warning you all - it kicks my homicidal tendencies up a couple of notches.

The family obligations. Visiting family is hard on an angry old bitch like me. These are, after all, the people who provided the genesis of my inner rage. Choking down all that old resentment while listening to Fox News "talking points" being mindlessly regurgitated by weak, fearful relatives, against a backdrop of noisy, dirty-faced children in church donated shabby clothing leaves me in a depressive funk that my meds can't even touch. It's a white-trash Christmas!

Present pressure. Yes, even my twisted, bitter soul is not immune to the desire to give gifts to friends, donations to strangers, and most of all, brightly colored baubles for the aforementioned dirty-faced children. Because I know all too well just how dark and sad their lives are, even if they don't....yet. Of course, I cannot afford to give any gifts this year. I'm barely keeping my bills paid. So, the extra pressure? Not really needing it right now, thanks.

Jingle-rage. Is it just me, or do people get more hostile during the holidays? I'm not just talking about the mall madness, either. The traffic is horrible, drivers are so aggressive even an anger junkie like me thinks "Man, be cool already, we'll all get there if everyone plays nice."

Christmas Crime. Maybe it's the present pressure, or maybe it's just the wealth of opportunities during the yearly orgy of consumerism, but burglaries, smash & grabs, armed robberies, and every other variation on the theme of theft are as much a part of the holidays as ribbons and Rudolph.

Happy freakin' holidays.

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