Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Calling Names

Well, lately, since I've been working from home, I haven't had to deal with people as much. At least, not face-to-face. Which is a good thing, in my case, since I tend to not like people very much. I do go into the office on Mondays, though, and while I was in yesterday, I noticed that I have a habit of naming the people that I see alot, but don't know by name.
Some of the nicknames are innocuous, like "Mail room Lady", or "Boss Guy." Others are more indicative of my prejudices. My office has some interesting characters. There's the woman who always smokes outside of the smoking area. I call her "Rules Don't Apply to me."
The guy who hasn't changed his haircut since 1st grade is "Little Boy Hair."
There are a couple of guys that I can't even tell apart, who like the long hair with beard look. I call them "The Bearded Ladies."
The person I most try to avoid is the non-stop talker I've named "Please Pay Attention to me." I may strangle her one fine day.
There's a group of gay girls who work down in the mail room. I know them, collectively, as "The Downstairs Dykes". They include "Dude, Where's My Neck?", "Stretch", and "Short & Sweet".
Then there's the overly smug silver-haired guy, "Look How Smart I am", the false bravado of "Insecurity Guy", and the political demagogue "Listen To Me."
Other male characters include "Too Good For This Place", "Parties Too Hard", "The Clueless Kid", "Overcompensation Man", and "Stuck In The 60's."
And let's not forget the women - "Yes, I Am A Bitch", "One Day I'm Gonna Kill You All", "You Will Respect Me", and "Please Be My Friend."
I guess my nickname should be "Judging You All."

1 comment:

  1. you don't know your boss's name?