Aiding and Abirding

Last week, I warned everyone about the grave danger we face from malicious bird attacks. It looks like the problem is worse than I feared, as our clever foes now have the ability to disguise themselves as articles of clothing. For the first time, their canny ruse has been exposed.

From The Australian: An alleged bird smuggler had his feathers ruffled when Customs officers seized two live pigeons stuffed into his tights.



The 23-year-old man of Meadow Heights in suburban Melbourne had just landed at Melbourne Airport on Sunday after a flight from Dubai when customs and border control officers stopped him and searched his bags. They allegedly found in the man's pocket a multi-vitamin container holding two birds eggs, and a further search revealed he was wearing tights with the two live birds stuffed inside, one in each leg. The eggs indicate that indoctrination begins very early for these airborne enemies of humanity.



Officers also seized a money belt containing plant seeds and undeclared samples of eggplant in the passenger's baggage before he was handed over to Australian Quarantine and Inspection Services staff.

"Wildlife smuggling is not only cruel to the animals involved, it poses a severe risk to the Australian environment and the health of the Australian community," Customs spokesman Richard Janeczko said.

"It is important that people declare all animal and plant materials to customs and border protection when they enter Australia."

If convicted, the alleged smuggler could face up to 10 years in jail and/or a $110,000 fine.

A Customs spokeswoman said it was not known what the pigeons were intended to be used for, adding the man was expected to be charged on summons with wildlife smuggling offences.

It is unclear from the article if the man was allied with these nefarious Aves, or just an unwitting victim. Either way, they are obviously escalating, if they are bringing humans into their evil plots. I suspect we will be seeing more of this kind of thing. Stay alert!