Monday, February 9, 2009

People I Don't Trust

I'm not a trusting soul by nature. I'm not quite in the conspiracy theory wingnut class, but I'm certainly within hailing distance. I firmly believe that everyone has a hidden agenda, and since my own internal editor is severely damaged, I don't really get the why of hiding one's intentions. Fortunately, I care very little what most people are up to, so I don't really stress about it. That said, there are some people I keep an eye on.

Far-Right Republicans - I've seen that these pseudo-Christian zealots will stoop to anything to oppress anyone who does not buy into their mythos. Which definitively means yours truly.

People whose middle name is Wayne - Two words - Serial Killers.

Anyone who takes more medications than I do - Except maybe old people, because they do take alot of meds.

Old People - I changed my mind. They have too much time on their hands, who knows what they're thinking about. I suspect they hate us.

Young People - Most people don't really become fully aware of others until their mid-twenties. You can't tell them anything in confidence.

Every Other Driver on the road - I wish I had a motorcade like the President, so everyone would have to pull over when I drove by.

Family - Nobody will f*** you over faster, or more thoroughly, than your relatives.

Mechanics and Contractors - There are few exceptions to the rule that all these guys are out to rip you off.

Joggers - What the hell are they running from?

Hair Stylists - That's way too much power for one person to have over another.

Anyone who doesn't like cats - There are two categories of cat-haters - those who are afraid of cats because they perceive them as sneaky, and those who dislike their independence. The first group consists of people who actually are sneaky, and the second group includes people with deep-seated insecurities. Both groups are inherently fearful and weak, and frightened people with weak characters are the most dangerous animals of all.


  1. well i'm out of the running. who do you like?


  2. It's a short list, but you're on it.

  3. Well, I like cats. I used to jog. And I guess I would need to know how much medication you take to accurately address that one...