Monday, February 16, 2009

Driving Me Crazy

I know I've been a little distracted lately, and I wanna make it up to ya'll. So here's a vent on my very favorite subject.
I may have mentioned that I do not like other drivers. I'll admit that I am not the only decent driver in the world, but it's a pretty slim percentage of car jockeys that aren't gonna test the effectiveness of my meds. Yes, I'm aggressive, and yes, I am in a hurry, actually. I'm in a hurry to get the hell out of traffic before I rip a tonsil screaming at the astounding stupidity of most other people on the roads. My rush is for your own safety. So MOVE already.
What the hell is with these drivers who leave a quarter of a mile between them and the car in front of them at traffic lights? Even if it blocks the turn lane? If these asshats had any idea how much this makes me wanna shove their stupid SUVs into that car they're so damn worried about hitting, they might realize how much safer it would be to just tighten it up already.
Oh, and here's another clue - if I put on my turn signal? It means I'm probably gonna turn! So maybe you could back the hell off my ass already. I mean, you won't pull up to the bumper of a car that's sitting still at a light, but you can't even slow down to let me make a left turn?
And while we're at it? Get. Off. Your f***ing cellphone. You insufferable moron. You aren't that great a driver anyways,and let's be honest here - nothing you have to say is all that important anyway. So do the rest of us a favor and stop your yammering until you get wherever the hell you're going.
I don't even understand traffic jams on the expressway. Here's an idea - any numbf*** who causes an accident during rush hour? Jerk that license. See you at the bus stop, dumbass. Now you can talk on your phone all you want. Win/win. And if there isn't an accident? Why aren't we moving? Someone please explain to me why we need to creep along at 10mph if there's nothing blocking the road?
Look, I realize that my aggressive driving style may frighten and annoy others. It's just that I don't care. So just let me pass and we'll all get along fine. And have a nice day.

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